"I wouldn't say I've been missing it Bob…"

Damn it feels good to be a Grizzly.  Crank up the Michael Bolton, because the Fresno Grizzlies are paying homage to the 20^th anniversary of the release of Office Space on August 8, presented by Select Business Systems, when the Nashville Sounds (Texas Rangers) visit Chukchansi Park.  So…yeah hiii…we're gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Thursday night, mmmkay?

WITH DIFFERENT "CONCLUSIONS" YOU CAN…"JUMP TO":  If the business world ends up not being right for you, visit the Oppo Taco lounge on the right field concourse, or Fresno Social in left field and try out the "Jump to Conclusions" mat as you attempt to figure out what to do with your life after a cocktail or two.

CHOTCHSKIES OR FLINGERS?:   Look, people can get a cheeseburger anywhere, okay.  They come to the Fresno Grizzlies game for the atmosphere, and the attitude.  So visit concessions on the third base side of the ballpark…it really doesn't matter if you get in line for Chotchskies or Flingers, you can nibble on some pizza shooters, shrimp poppers or extreme fajitas either way.  

WE WANT YOU TO EXPRESS YOURSELF:  If you feel that the bare-minimum is enough, then okay.  But any fan purchasing walk-up tickets wearing more than 15 pieces of "flair" will receive five dollars off each ticket.  Some people choose to wear more, and we encourage that, mmmkay?  You do want to express yourself, don't you?  Okay, great, great.  That's all we ask.

I DON'T LIKE MY JOB, AND I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA GO ANYMORE:  Anyone with documented proof at the ticket office that they have quit their job within the last three months will be given a free ticket to the game.  Anyone attempting to pay for tickets with a credit or debit card with the last name "Lumbergh" will be charged double for their purchase. 

SO ARE YOU RELATED TO THAT SINGER-GUY?:  Free admission will also be granted to any fan with the last name "Bolton" (ID required).  It's probably just a coincidence, but why should you change?  He's the one who sucks.  But for our money, we don't think it gets any better than when he sings "When a man loves a woman."  We celebrate the guy's entire catalogue.  

BUT I KEPT MY SWINGLINE:  Random seats will be drawn throughout the game to win a red Swingline Stapler, which does not bind up as much as a Boston one.  If you don't win, please do not burn the building down.  Also, don't be surprised if we take your Swingline back. 

(NASHVILLE) SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE HAS A CASE OF THE MONDAYS:  On Monday, August 12, any fan showing a ticket stub or proof of purchase from the Thursday 8/8 game vs. Nashville can take advantage of $5 tickets for that evening's game against Memphis (limit four per customer).